Monday, 5 December 2016

Game Awards reveals Skynet plan for world domination.


There was plenty of controversy about this year's game awards.

Not the least of which included an abundance of corporate advertisement from multiple video game and other companies vying to sell their products.

The most notable was of course the inclusion of Schick's Hydrobot, which was seen mingling throughout the night.

However it seems Hydrobot's presence has unearthed a scheme of world domination.

Hydrobot is actually a test version of the well known robot entities featured in the Terminator series, famously controlled by Skynet and appearing in Terminator: Salvation.


While it is still unclear of Hydrobot's intentions, gruesome and torturous futures no doubt await us.

Perhaps this torture will take the form of forcing people to watch Terminator: Salvation, or at excess, play the game.


Source: Siri

Monday, 26 January 2015

Justin Gabriel Leaves WWE - Causes Rumble Plans to Change



It is well known by now that last night's Royal Rumble was a negative affair for WWE. New information has now surfaced however that Roman Reigns was not scheduled to win the Rumble match.

Justin Gabriel was reportedly set to win the Royal Rumble and go on to face Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania, his recent run down in NXT is cited as the reason the hefty decision was made.

"We just knew that the South African audience would believe in him." said WWE staph member, Phil Brooks.

Unfortunately for WWE, Gabriel left the company yesterday in order to pursue his sewing career, leaving the company in a tough spot.

Who is best in a tough spot? According to Vince McMahon, Roman Reigns has all the tools.

"He looks just like Dwayne, he's got to be good!" said McMahon.

Roman Reigns is currently scheduled to enter a storyline with The Rock, where he will undergo a shaving of his head in order to look more like the legendary superstar.


Source: A dolphin.

Monday, 19 January 2015

Disney and Activision Get in Schoolyard Tussle



A source in the games industry has told us that he spotted corporate juggernauts Activision and Disney in a slap fight near a school swing set.

The fight was reportedly started when a representative of Disney claimed that Disney Infinity sold more copies than Skylanders, of which the Activision representatives disagreed.

The argument escalated when a Skylanders coder threw a Beyblade at a Disney employee after he had ripped the coder's Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

After a few minutes of slapping each other, the employees were separated by Brenda, the overly nice teachers assistant on duty at the school. Both parties were then forced to apologize and had to spend the rest of recess on the big bench inside.


Source: Randall (After we gave him a cookie.)

Microsoft Attempts to Ban The Bible



Due to the recent decision by Microsoft to stop content creators from using their game titles in video posts, they have also gone after religious outfits for violation of terms.

The word "Halo" has been banned by Microsoft because it refers to their popular video game franchise of the same name. This has led to a stand-off between the Xbox developer and the Catholic church, which does not view Master Chief as their saviour deity.

There is expected to be an ongoing lawsuit in the future, although it seems that Microsoft is likely to emerge the victor due to the grey law areas of copyright benefitting them in the long run.

Microsoft has also begun fining any mention of the Ark of the Covenant.


Source: Austin 3:16

Friday, 16 January 2015

Highest Selling Games of 2014 Include Popular Games



What do popular games such as Call of Duty, Minecraft and Destiny have in common? They all sold lots of copies.

According to GameSpot, the biggest games of the year are apparently the highest sellers as well. This is an unprecedented study that industries all over the world will remember for years to come.

Because of this study, world peace has begun for the first time, hunger is ended, cancer has been cured and reality TV is now outlawed.

EGN would like to officially thank GameSpot for this discovery.


Source: Snooki

Indie Dev Starts Kickstarter in Order to Update Early Access Game



Patching takes a lot of time and hard work, this is why most developers finish the game before selling it. Indie developer BitVoxelCraft has realized this and is now accepting donations on Kickstarter in order to update their Early Access game.

Their game "Sur-5", is an open world survival game with a focus on voxel destruction, player crafting and a professional griefing system.

Since the game's initial release, the company has gone over budget and is not able to meet the parameters that they initially expected. The game has been released for nearly a year without any patches or updates.

In response to player outcry, BitVoxelCraft has now started a second Kickstarter in order to raise money for future patches to their game. Rewards for backing this include a free copy of the new game they have begun working on, "Sur-6" which is set to be released a year after Sur-5 is officially released.

According to BitVoxelCraft, gamers may back a Kickstarter campaign for Sur-6 starting next month.


Source: Steve

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Uncharted 4 to Offer Subpar Experience to Avoid Subpar Experience



Naughty Dog is adamant in making sure they follow in Ubisoft's footsteps. Uncharted 4 will possibly offer a 30fps experience because "We're going to do whatever it takes to make the game we want to make."

This is a contradictory quote as Naughty Dog has previously stated that they want Uncharted 4 to reach 60fps. This was most evident last June when Naughty Dog employee, Eric Monacelli exclaimed that they were targeting 60fps because it improved the game.

"We’re targeting 60fps for Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, and as you can see, the visual fidelity for our character models will reach new heights. In fact, thanks to the power of PS4, right now Drake’s Uncharted 4 model is over double the polygons of Joel from The Last of Us PS3." said Manacelli.

This is following the recent trend of game developers releasing games with a lower frame rate than previously expected. The 30fps experience has been touted by multiple companies in the past year. Ubisoft has stated it is a better experience than 60fps.

Many PC elitist gamers have been up in arms about the topic, though the reason for this is anyone's guess as Uncharted is a console exclusive series.

We asked an employee to elaborate on this decision but could not understand him due to his foot being inside his mouth.

Uncharted 4 is currently set for release in 2015.


Source: Pirates